so i took this class, by bartering for pr work, on meditation, imagery, and breath work.i’m skeptical to these types of ‘classes’ anyway but wanted to learn how to better control my anxiety through breath technique. (fail.)  i’ve known the teacher of the class, a pyschotherapist for my entire life in various personal capacities.  Primarily, as their former nanny/babysitter. Known to be extremely manipulative, I was hesitant to commit but after talking with her even more hesitant not too as I was feeling quite vulnerable and was willing to try anything, besides anti-anxiety/antidepressant meds to help gain some semblance of inner control of thoughts. 

The three classes were…. uneventful… one lady who took the class called it pyscho babble. A whole lot of manifesting your destiny, you can have anything you can imagine, nonsense.  

After being off nuvaring for six weeks, I feel completely back to my normal self. The classes, I decided were not for me.  And trying to squeeze more freelance PR work into my already packed schedule was doing anything but destress me.  I also declined to take a private therapy session to “reprogram trauma” I experienced as a child.  It was one hundred and forty dollars, and that was fifty percent off.  That is an absurd amount of money for a  broke college student and I simply could NOT work it out.  

I politely called to explain….

The backlash was absolutely ridiculous.  Any and all fears and anxieties I had discussed in class were completely thrown in my face.   She told me this was all my fear and panic talking.  I was told that the reason why I was leaving the class was completely because of my ego and that if I wanted to take the private session, all I had to do was ask the universe for it and someone would hand me a couple hundred dollars.  NO, seriously, she said that.  She also told me this was the only opportunity I have to get better, the only time, the only way, this is my window, the class.  And if I don’t which, I don’t have a choice she said because I committed, I would end up with cancer like my mother, because “cancer is the suppression of anxiety.” I wish I could say I was shocked but now I am just furious with myself for getting sucked in.