“Furthermore,  when, at two in the morning on deadline, other [redacted] interns may be having minor meltdowns because of the pressure of new found adulthood combined with a juvenile paycheck all the while being expected to give the utmost effort, I will be writing, editing, or researching diligently while smiling maniacally and remaining composed.  After all, its what I’ve done for two years while secretly writing my own column at my bar job in between making jagerbombs.”