My night just ended with a date stopping the car so I could drive myself home….. Because he was so exhausted he was starting to nod off at the wheel. I just tried to spell “nod” “knod” and then “knodd.” Ladies and Gentleman, it is repeating stories like these that have started to quite literally make my dates fall asleep.

Its a fucking bitch out there, you guys. Dating people in a city where vices that lead to staying up the entire night or two days in a row, is incredibly commonplace, is really fucking with my potential getting laid prospects.