I was pouring the last drink of the night, the music had already been shut off, and had it been a man I would have told him we were closed and coldly turned my back on him.  But it was a cute girl with dark skin and freckles that clustered around her cheeks and trickled off down her shoulders and arms.

She asked if I was going to have a drink after work.  

The last time I was in the mood I am in tonight I ended up drunk in an alley, sloppy, laughing loudly and grabbing for him in the dark. It was pitch black but I could still make out the moss sprawling over the brick wall behind me, when I leaned my head back, chin towards the night sky, and I could still make out his features in the dark.  I could make out his features in a dead sleep, I think. 

I did not trust myself to not end up in an alley with him or anyone else tonight. Sometimes you just have to sit with the restlessness, I guess.